Fighting for consciousness.

May the soul always cultivate her intention not to be vanquished. If the spirit of evil sees that she is willing to lose her life, her tranquility, and everything else that it can offer rather than return to the first dwelling, it will soon give up on her. Let the soul be strong and not behave like those soldiers who knelt down to drink before going into battle. Let her be steadfast as she goes forth to stand against all the minions of unconsciousness raging inside her, knowing that there are no weapons superior to the peace of the cross.

St. Teresa of Ávila, The Interior Castle (trans. Mirabai Starr)

All the minions of unconsciousness raging inside her. Never have I read a more apt description of what it feels like to be a Nine fighting for integration – for a foothold in God’s reality. This passage stopped my breath. Yes: It’s consciousness that I’m seeking. And it’s unconsciousness that constantly pulls at me and calls me backward. Read more


Falcon flew above me yesterday, keen and slow.

Focus was her message. Stop splitting your gaze in a hundred different ways. 

I know the things that deserve my full attention. I know how often I avoid meeting myself in the eye. Read more