First reading.

As someone who’s come around to the idea of the universe being one grand, impossibly complex web of energy exchanges (thanks, quantum physics) – and also someone who believes that God is speaking all the time, through nature and people and stories and symbols – the art of tarot has recently begun to fascinate me.

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Creating narrative space.

Last weekend, I rewatched Donnie Darko. I can confirm that it hasn’t just held up in the 12 years or so since I first saw it; it’s gotten better. As I pulled up the obligatory articles post-movie to remind myself (and explain to our friends) who the Manipulated Dead and Manipulated Living are and what the heck an Ensurance Trap is and the rest of the crazy-arbitrary rules of the Tangent Universe, it occurred to me: This is all a blast, but it’s not why I love the movie. Read more

A waypoint.

Yesterday, I ordered the New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha (1) and Maggie Stiefvater’s Raven’s Prophecy Tarot cards (2) for my birthday. I also started reading Eknath Easwaran’s brilliant translation of The Upanishads (3). At the same time, I’ve (predictably) been tearing through Cixin Liu’s The Three-Body Problem (4).

I feel like these things, taken together, form a pretty accurate cross-section of where I currently find myself on my spiritual journey. Read more

Fighting for consciousness.

May the soul always cultivate her intention not to be vanquished. If the spirit of evil sees that she is willing to lose her life, her tranquility, and everything else that it can offer rather than return to the first dwelling, it will soon give up on her. Let the soul be strong and not behave like those soldiers who knelt down to drink before going into battle. Let her be steadfast as she goes forth to stand against all the minions of unconsciousness raging inside her, knowing that there are no weapons superior to the peace of the cross.

St. Teresa of Ávila, The Interior Castle (trans. Mirabai Starr)

All the minions of unconsciousness raging inside her. Never have I read a more apt description of what it feels like to be a Nine fighting for integration – for a foothold in God’s reality. This passage stopped my breath. Yes: It’s consciousness that I’m seeking. And it’s unconsciousness that constantly pulls at me and calls me backward. Read more

Patience is the watchword.

I’m so in love with TPI, and so grateful that I’ve let it grow alongside me.

In this particular venture, my perfectionism – and all the obstacles it’s created for the past 10 years – has absolutely been used/transformed/reconstituted into a blessing. God has not let this story come easy to me because I wasn’t ready to tell it until now. I wasn’t capable of writing it at the level it deserves to be written. Read more

Focus.

Falcon flew above me yesterday, keen and slow.

Focus was her message. Stop splitting your gaze in a hundred different ways. 

I know the things that deserve my full attention. I know how often I avoid meeting myself in the eye. Read more